After battle after battle, in an untold part of the story, the characters of the Street Fighter series tried (for a short time) to just get along with one another. The annals of this period of time are recorded here as.....

"Hey Sodom! Are you done with the dishes yet?"

"No, Ryu." CRASH!! Broken glass rained down from a huge pair of metal-clad hands.

"Well, you may find it easier if you take off all that heavy armor. These plates are very expensive and we all had to work very hard to get them. It would be beneficial if you either removed your gauntlets or exercised better control, because--"

"Because I have to clean it up!" exclaimed Ken, who had come out of the closet and was now a full-fledged drag queen complete with French maid's outfit. "Ryu says, 'For a true martial artist, even sweeping up Sodom's mess is part of training.' (I think he's just lazy.)"

"I'll show you a mess!" roared Sodom, ripping the oven from its mountings and holding it high above Ryu and the shrieking Ken hiding behind him.

"Sodom!" came a voice. "Put that down this instant!"

Sodom hung his masked head. "I'm sorry, Rose."

"You should work on controlling your anger, or someday you'll end up just like Vega!"

Sodom's eyes lit up. Vega was currently in the living room drinking cough syrup (everybody beat him up if he tried to use anything stronger) but at one time he had been a mighty soldier, dictator, and drug lord. Sodom also knew that Vega was cheap and so with just a few bucks he could have the entire army under his control again. He gently put the oven down.

"And you," Rose said, waving her finger at Ken.

"Hey!" said Ken defensively. "If this is the life I choose to live, then it is my right to live it this way!"

"He's right," said Ryu defiantly. "I mean, she's right." He looked at Ken meekly.

Rose sighed. "I was just going to say you missed a spot."

A dark, evil-looking fliery silhouette stepped purposefully into the room.

Wow, thought Ryu. And I thought Ken was flaming!

"I lost my Really Cool Beads," grunted Gouki. "Has anybody seen my Really Cool Beads?"

"Oh my," said Rose. "Let's all try to help Gouki find his Really Cool Beads!"

Ryu went into a side room and looked up his butt, but amazingly they were not there. Rose started going through the dryer but found nothing but a single sock. She looked behind the dryer and found around sixty-seven thousand socks, none of which had a match. Even domestic life could be a battle.

Ken looked through the cabinets, but found nothing but food. Well, most of the others called it food. Ken called it a Waste of Space because none of the international foodstuffs was a cheeseburger.

"Don't worry, Gouki," smiled Rose. "I'm sure they'll turn up."

"Not me!" hollered Zangief from the bathroom, where he had been for the last two days.

"Yeah, right!" smirked Ken. "That's the third explosion I've heard come from your big hairy nasty bowels!"

"UWU HA HA HAAAAAA!"

Rose dashed into the living room to see Vega blasted out of his mind on grape cough syrup. But there in a flaming mass sat Birdie, the street punk with chains and bad hair, chained up with his own chains, some Really Cool Beads clenched in his teeth which where straining in pain. Nash sat in a nearby recliner trying to drink his coffee and read his newspaper, eyeing them irritably.

"One more grenade!" shouted Rolento, tossing another at him. "You'll get tough or you'll die!!!"

"No!" shouted Rose, whipping her ribbon and reflecting the grenade back at the psychotic American. Rolento grabbed it and took a big bite out of it because he was friggin' nuts.

Rose found a crowbar and pried Birdie's mouth open far enough for the Really Cool Beads to fall out. They splashed to floor with a wet thud.

"Hey!" exclaimed Gouki as he walked into the room. "My Really Cool Beads are covered in Birdie spit!" And without further ado he began to whip the everliving crap out of poor Birdie, who was still chained up but even if he hadn't been he still wouldn't have had a chance to move. A minute later Gouki picked up Rose and wiped the Birdie spit off his beads with her clothes. Satisfied, he walked off.

"Gouki!" Rose screamed. "I will not tolerate that kind of disrespect!" But before she could leap to attack him (or even find a towel) the front door burst open.

"I'm hoooooooome!" cried Sakura, throwing down her school books on the sofa. She looked up at Rose. "Can I have my allowance?"

Rose grudgingly dished out the forty bucks. "Now I need you to clean the walls in the den. Guy and Chun-Li have been bouncing off them and there are footprints everywhere.

"Jeez, do I have to?"

"Relax," said Ryu sternly. "For a true martial artist, even cleaning footprints off the den wall is part of training."

Sakura was almost taken in, but at the last moment she produced a sponge and a bucket of hot water from nowhere and handed them to Ryu. "Then get to it, Master!" Ryu, cowed, went off to do the dirty work.

BASS BOOM BOOM BOOM BASS BOOM BOOM BOOM!

"What is that noise?" asked Rose.

"That must be my gang downstairs," said Sodom. "I'll have them turn the music down."

As Sodom walked away, Sakura asked Rose "I know we're all supposed to be living here in peace and harmony, but was it really wise for you to invite the Mad Gear gang to live in our basement? I mean they're up all hours of the night, they don't clean up after themselves, and Roxy keeps hitting on me!"

"You mean she attacks you?" Rose asked, confused.

"No, she keeps hitting on me!"

Suddenly like a bat out of Hell came some guy, running faster than humanly possible and making a nasty orange blur. He promptly began to wail on poor Sodom, who had had his back turned.

"Guy!" cried Rose. "Guy! Stop that right now!"

Guy left the unconscious Sodom laying there and backflipped out of sight, vanishing in perfect Ninja stealth.

"He sure holds a grudge for a long time," remarked Sakura, impressed. "Is Ken here? I'm supposed to spar with her."

"She's in the kitchen cleaning up," Rose told her.

"Ryu keeps talking about discipline, and he bores me. He keeps trying to make me do his share of the chores. But Ken just beats the crap out of him. That's what I'm interested in. If I wanted discipline, I'd go to live with my mother."

"I say," said Nash. "Would anyone care for a cheese danish?"

"Why, thank you, Nash!" smiled Rose.

"Are you buying?" asked Sakura.

"Of course. Vega!"

Vega's eyes opened wide through the Purple Haze of the grape cough syrup. Vega listened to Nash no matter what because he thought he'd already killed Nash twice but he keeps coming back. "hhhhhuuuuuuuuu....uuuuh?..." drooled the drug lord.

"Give us some money so we can get some cheese danishes."

"Hokay," Vega slurred, vomiting whole seedless grapes onto the carpeting. Vega dug into his pants and tossed a wet slimy wad of greasy $100 bills, which spatted into Nash's chest and stayed there. Nash slowly and diligently peeled the first three bills off and offered the rest to Rose, who turned them down with a look of disgust.

"I'll take those!" exclaimed Ken, snatching the remaining wad of cash with some rubber gloves that he/she had been wearing to do some cleaning.

"You slut!" exclaimed Gouki, glaring at Ken.

"All right, everybody. Settle down. Vega has enough money in his grungy red pants for everybody," Rose sighed.

"Really?" asked Sakura.

Suddenly everybody but Nash and Rose leapt upon the poor mind-blasted Vega and began to rip his pants to shreds looking for money. Dhalsim stood in the hall and snatched up floating bills from the billowing dust cloud from a safe distance with his unofficial Stretch Armstrong arms.

"Guy!" Nash called. "Go to the store for us and get some danishes, please."

Without a word, Guy silently slipped out the window and dashed down the street to the local Qwik-E-Mart. Four seconds later he returned with a crate of danishes.

"But these aren't cheese danishes!" cried Rose.

"Don't worry," said Nash. "I'll be right back." Nash stepped out of the back door and over to the smaller shack that was in the back yard. This is where Adon stayed most of the time. Adon was especially good to have around right now, as Nash needed cheese and making cheese was what Adon was best at.

Cammy looked up from where she was pounding a two-by-four in place over the shack's door with long nails. "Hello, Nash!"

Nash looked back toward the Brady Bunch-style house. "Aren't you in the least bit worried about Vega?"

"Not really. I haven't seen a paycheck from him in weeks! Were you going in here? Adon finally wore himself out and I nailed these boards across the door while he was asleep to keep him in."

"I was going in there," explained Nash.

"Isn't it a bit early in the morning to get your ass kicked?" Cammy inquired.

"A bit, yes. But perhaps he will see reason and share his cheese with us all."

"Well, he's good at that. Just let me get a running start first!" With that, Cammy took off, kicking up dirt and grass in a mad dash back to the house.

Nash took a deep breath, then flash-kicked the boards off the door, nearly landing on the shack's roof.

He politely knocked on the shack's door as wood splinters rained down form the heavens.

"What do you want? I'm training Sagat in here!" came a squeaky but somehow still gruff voice that Nash recognized as belonging to Adon.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, then, Adon. But I was wondering if perhaps you might be willing to take a moment to spare us some cheese. We were planning on having cheese danishes all around, but Guy bought the wrong kind. Feel free to come inside and have breakfast with us, both of you."

"Open the door," said Adon. "And we'll give you cheese. Lots of cheese!"

"Excellent! You two are such good friends." Nash reached out, turned the knob, and pulled the door open....

WHAP! BOOM! BAM! CRASH!

"Yeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

Sakura ran up to Rose. "What's that awful sound? It sounds like someone's being tortured."

"No," said Gen, who was passing through to put some Jiffy-Pop on. "I'm not torturing anyone right now. Unless they were left over from last week. I really haven't checked up on them in a while."

Sakura giggled at the old assassin as he stepped out of the room. "He's just not so menacing anymore, now that he wears that Lifecall."

"I heard that," came a gravelly voice from the kitchen. Sakura just stuck out her tongue.

"Oh, my!" cried Rose. "That must be Nash! Adon must be attacking him!"

"Well," giggled Ken. "He did want cheese!"

"I will go and pacify him," said Dhalsim. "I am sure Adon does not want the bad karma of unnecessary violence burdening his soul."

"That's never stopped him before," Ryu stated matter-of-factly. "I think he just needs to be beaten up again. With your permission, Rose. After all, you are the head of the household."

"I suggest we let Dhalsim try to pacify him first," Rose said. "If that does not work, then, Ryu, you may do as you must."

Dhalsim teleported outside and no more than eight seconds later came smashing through the kitchen window face-first, hogtied with his own limbs, covered in cheese, with an apple stuffed in his mouth.

"Right!" said Ryu, dashing out the back door. "Adon! Prepare yourself!!!!!"

As Adon and Sagat looked up from the fallen Nash, Ryu tore into them with a scream of triumph and rage, unleashing all his cheese in one huge, resounding explosion, which rocked the landscape and knocked over some nearby trees!

Rose peeked out of the shattered kitchen window and sighed. "Ryu is losing."

Dan popped up, screaming, from behind the refrigerator, wearing a flower pot on his head because he was kripping insane. "Sagat's back there! I've found him! Now I'll get even with him for killing my father, the bastard! Damn! I need coffee! NOW!" Before Rose could even lift a finger to stop him, he smashed headfirst through the wall and out the side of the house, plaster and wood raining down around him as he strode down the path, laying a big-footed jump-kick to the side of Adon's uniquely-shaped head.

"I'm here to kill Sagat!" cried Dan.

Sagat peered out of the door at him. "What? Hey, what do you have against me?"

"You killed my father, you tall tan scarred one-eyed geek!" Dan shouted, foaming at the mouth. At least, it looked like the mouth. There was so much foam, though, it was hard to tell exactly where it was coming from.

Sagat looked quite taken aback and more than a little hurt. "But... That wasn't me who killed your father. That was Bob Saget. I just happened to be nearby when it happened!"

"Don't lie to me!" Dan howled, grabbing Sagat's head and placing it exactly where he needed it... and then....... "BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHYAHOOEY!" Dan repeatedly pummeled and kicked the everliving crap out of Sagat, wet slaps of bone on flesh, the splashes and squirts of flying blood and sweat...... After three solid minutes of this needless violence, Sagat simply plopped to the ground with a heavy, wet, sickening, fleshy THUD.

"Oh, my!" gasped Rose. "Somebody call 911!"

Gouki quickly snatched up the phone, accidentally crushing it in the process. He replaced the mangled receiver with an innocent look on his face and announced to whoever cared to listen "It was like that when I found it... honest!"

Ken looked up from where she was vigorously trying to untie Dhalsim. "If Dan dies, can I have his tights?"

Rose looked at Ken oddly. "But Dan doesn't wear tights!"

Ken smiled. "Looks like I know him better than you do!"

Adon smiled a nasty, toothy grin, and he and Dan began to madly pummel each other, blood and sweat flying as Ryu twitched spasmadically on the ground, his eyes big rotating swirls.

"Wow," gasped Sakura, amazed. "I thought we all agreed to try to live in peace... and look what's going on out there! Is Ryu okay??!?!"

"Relax," said Ken in her best Ryu voice. "For a true martial artist, even getting one's butt stomped is a part of training!"

"Well," Sakura quipped. "That was so thorough that he mustn't need much more training!" Ken nodded in agreement.

Chun Li popped up from a secret trap door in the corner of the kitchen, incidentally spilling both Gen and his Jiffy Pop onto the floor, as he had unknowingly been standing on it! From the secret Interpol lab under the kitchen she arose, looking very concerned. She pushed and elbowed her way through the crowd that was the other warriors and made her way to the Dan-shaped hole that led to the outside, drawing a pistol.

"Interpol! Freeze!" she shouted at Adon.

With that same nasty smile, Adon stopped wailing on Dan, leapt onto the side of the little brown shack out back, and tore across the considerable distance between them with a flying kick aimed directly at her face!

Cammy stealthily slipped into the shack while everyone was occupied and along with Dan's help, she dragged the battered Nash out along with forty pounds of Grade A American cheese!

Nash smiled, glossy-eyed. "Did we win the war?"

Cammy glared at him and motioned for him to be quiet as she helped him to his feet and led him back to the house. Dan, however, had other ideas!

Ignoring the raging battle now being fought between Chun Li and Adon, he took a great big bite out of the door to the shack, thoroughly chewing it up and enjoying the fiber. Then, as an afterthought to the tasty snack, he turned to face Adon's back and spat nails and splinters as hard as he could, all the while burbling the Japanese national anthem and drinking a pint container of Rumble Seltzer because, as mentioned before, he was totally gonzo in the head.

Adon kicked Chun Li in the chest so hard that her bra size went down three levels and she was knocked totally out of her clothes and through the wall, to find herself sprawled out on top of Rose, totally nude.

Rose looked at her somewhat severely. "Not now."

Embarassed, Chun Li frantically dashed back into the Interpol lab, slamming the trapdoor and inadvertently crushing several of Gen's toes, as he had just finished cleaning up all the Jiffy Pop and had just made some more, and was now unfortunately standing too close! With his face a shade of red most beets aspire to, he collapsed face-first in his popcorn!

"Hey!" slurred Vega to him. "You gonna eat that?"

"Mmrmph!" Gen said through a facefull of piping hot Jiffy Pop.

Finally, Rose herself stepped out, fury burning in her eyes!

"Adon!" she called out. "You are the only one here that is making it impossible for us to all live in peace! Why are you doing this??!?!"

Adon looked thoughtful for a minute, but before he was able to answer...

KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM!

Gunshots rang out across the yard and several large holes were blown in Adon's body as geysers of blood and flesh exploded from his back!

Cammy put away the smoking gun, breathing heavily as Adon collapsed to the ground in a pool of his own blood.

"Cammy" shrieked Rose. "Now you've done it!"

But Cammy would have none of it, and she strode over to Adon and yanked him to his feet by the hair, pressing the gun into his throat.

"Why are you doing this?!" she demanded. "Talk, Anglo-Saxon Hun!" She smashed him in the side of the head with the gun-butt.

Adon smiled a goofy, yet placid smile, and raised one shaky, quivering arm to point behind her.

Rose, Dan, Cammy, Nash, and all the other warriors whirled to see Vega standing at the side door.

Vega smiled at them all evilly.

"Vega!" gasped Rose, astonished. "Did you put Adon up to this?"

"Well," said Vega. "I see you've found me out. Adon is a great warrior, but under my guidance, he has grown even greater, no?"

"This whole time, you were faking being out of your head?!" Sakura yelped.

Vega smiled and adjusted his big red hat. "I thought that Rose's idea of us all living together in the same house was a lovely one. You see, now I get to finish you all off at once!"

"You hot dog tester!" shrieked Cammy. "You can at least give me my damn back-logged pay!" She levelled the gun at him.

"You can be proud to have served me," he said. "That should be payment enough!"

"I quit!" Cammy cried.

KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM!

Vega levitated out of the way of the flying lead with a mirthless laugh.

As the warriors all poured out of the house (save for the Mad Gear gang in the basement, who couldn't hear the commotion over their obnoxious music), Vega stood in mid-air, his arms crossed and cape billowing in the wind, a sneer of defiance upon his face.

"Now," he said. "Rose! I shall show you the awesome power of my special attack, the Psycho Crusher!"

"Is that some horrible telekinetic power?" demanded Ryu, getting up and dusting himself off.

"No!" shouted Vega. "That's where I pick up Dan by the feet and beat you over the head with him!" and he swooped down to scoop Dan up by the feet. This delighted Dan, who was suddenly convinced that he was a Pan-Am jet.

WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM!

As Dan's rock-solid head struck home for the fith time, Ryu reeled back, dazed, little bumps forming on his skull.

"All right, Vega!" Rose shouted. "If you want to fight us all, we'll show you how unwelome you are in our happy home!"

"Does this place look happy to you?" demanded Guy, jabbing a thumb toward the many fresh holes in the walls.

"Come at me one at a time, or all at once," Vega challenged. "The results shall be the same."

"What an ego!" huffed Ryu. "Ken!"

Ken hopped forward. "Hey, Vega! We're gonna kick your butt!"

Sagat was hopping up and down, trying to grab the head of Dan, who was glaring sternly at them all on the ground below, evidently snapped back momentarily to his senses. "Vega," he grated. "Put me down."

"All right," said Vega, tossing him at Ken and Ryu. Gen ducked out of the way hastily, clutching his chest and sinking to his knees as this was just too much for him. Needless to say, his Jiffy Pop spilled onto the ground.

"Hadoken!"

"Shoryuken!"

The two attacked simultaneously and Dan flew backward as though he had been shot out of a cannon, his feet landing square in Vega's stomach. Wincing in pain as Dan wiggled his toes and chittered with delight, Vega slowly sank to the ground as the angry mob closed in!

Rose, finally past her limit, her eyes glowing a fierce red, screamed "KILL HIM!!!" and led a victory-or-death charge toward the mighty warlord!

As punches and kicks flew, blood spattered through the air, and Dan bounced up and down on a stolen Pogo-Ball, a huge dust cloud arose from the landscape and nothing could be seen but the flailing of arms and legs! And stars! The resounding sounds of battle, the punches, kicks, gunshots, evergy surges, battle cries, and screams, thundered across the lanscape, forcing several neighbors to call the police in order to settle in for a decent night's rest!

Within moments, final attacks were exploding in the combat, and suddenly and without warning, there was a huge mushroom cloud explosion that could easily be seen for thirty blocks, washing the sky to a dark red and flattening trees for miles as all the gas-lines in the area went up like a giant Roman candle! The walls and roof were blown away, and for the first time in days, the perpetually flatulent Zangief was off the toilet as his fuzzy naked body went sailing across the sky!

As appliances, bodies, and wooden boards rained down around her, Rose sat naked, cackling, and soot-blackened in the pile of debris that was once a beautiful house, her hair smoking. Police reports showed that the only thing she said all night was "The mortgage..." and that was always followed by maniacal laughter!

And so, with this calamity, our heroes and villains parted comapny and went their separate ways, ready to meet and fight again in the never-ending series that is Street Fighter. Until this day, only one question remains: Did the Mad Gear even notice?

--Kitsune Miya (Kitsune@SystemShock.zzn.com)